'I put my foot down': Mother refuses to help 15-year-old daughter go on school trip after daughter continually forgets important things

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Sep 11, 2024 3:00 PM EDT

This mom is wondering if she's actually being petty… or if she's just raising a teenager. 

It seems like most parents are clueless when it comes to their teenagers: there's no amount of research or preparation that can prepare you for that stage of your kid's life. You start off with a baby, then a toddler who's your little bestie. Then they turn into a sweet kid who loves to hang out with you. Then one day, that kid becomes a teenager, and all bets are off. They might act out or refuse to do activities with their parents anymore. It's tough to find a balance between letting your kid grow up, and still parenting them properly. 

U/Infinite_Step3417 took to r/AmItheA****** with a question for the citizens of the internet to answer, but the commenters were split on who exactly was at fault. Some people thought this person should be doing more as a parent to help her kid. Others chimed in saying that this teenager needed to learn some responsibility, urging the original poster to stick to her word and "stop babying her." See for yourself: you can read the full post and some insightful comments below. 

Up next, read about some super petty reasons people were fired, with one person sharing that, "Instead of quitting… people started eating donuts in front of management and being fired on the spot." 

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  • 01
    תלטות
    via Kai Pilger on Unsplash
  • 02
    AITA for being petty and not paying for my daughters school trip?
    via u/Infinite_Step3417
  • 03
    1 37f have a daughter Mia 15f. Mia is very forgetful/irresponsible when it comes to school. She is barely on time/late to school most days even though we live a 10 minute walk away. She will do homework last minute and often ask for extensions with work.
    via u/Infinite_Step3417
  • 04
    She had a tendency to remind me to pay for school related things like lunch money, just before I'm going to bed, or that she needs to take something into school so can we run to the store and quickly get it.
    via u/Infinite_Step3417
  • 05
    Last month, I went on a wild goose chase to help Mia locate ingredients for her home econ class, after she told me at half 10 she needs xyz ingredients and she just checked the fridge and we don't have it.
    via u/Infinite_Step3417
  • 06
    She was reading the ingredients of an email, and when I saw it was dated a week prior, got annoyed Mia couldn't have told me before when we did the big food shop for the family.
    via u/Infinite_Step3417
  • 07
    I told her the next time she needs something for school to tell me the day she gets told or the day after latest, or I will not be helping her out.
    via u/Infinite_Step3417
  • 08
    My husband has stopped helping Mia with her last minute requests and calls me a pushover for helping her out, but when she asked today to put down the deposit for a school trip I put my foot down.
    via u/Infinite_Step3417
  • 09
    Mia has known since the start of the school year she had a school trip to Germany. Her school sent an email out two months ago asking for deposits for kids to secure their place on trip. It's is about 150, and Mia asked me today to pay as the deadline is midnight or she may not be able to go.
    via u/Infinite_Step3417
  • 10
    I reminded her what I said last time about deadlines and organisation and as she chose to tell me last minute I will not be paying for her deposit. She got upset as all her friends from history class are going.
    via u/Infinite_Step3417
  • 11
    I told Mia that she can pay herself from her savings as she has a part time job, which is more than enough to cover her deposit, but she wanted to save up to buy a new game console.
    via u/Infinite_Step3417
  • 12
    I told her to pick if she wanted to go on the trip or get a new game console and she called me an AH, and now I'm wondering if I'm being unreasonable. My husband is on my side but my youngest said it was mean and Mia is very upset with me.
    via u/Infinite_Step3417
  • 13
    ETA- Mia doesn't have ADHD, but she is dyslexic so this does. explain the schoolwork sometimes, but she will ask for extensions on top of her extensions which is a sore spot for her and my husband who wants her to be more organised and not leave work last minute.
    via u/Infinite_Step3417
  • 14
    Mia has been tested for ADHD and doesn't not have it, I did my research at the time and realised it often gets overlooked for girls but even after getting another opinion she doesn't have ADHD. She gets help from a school advisor regarding her dyslexia and at home we have discussed strategies to help her stay on track with her responsibilities.
    via u/Infinite_Step3417
  • 15
    LoveBeach8 NTA If she didn't have enough of her own money, I'd probably cave but she wants YOU to spend YOUR money instead, knowing full well that she blew it, AGAIN. Stick to your guns. She needs to literally pay for her mistake. If she can
    via u/Infinite_Step3417
  • 16
    remember what game console she's saving for, she can remember her obligations. If she has a cell phone, why isn't she setting her own alarms and entering reminders on her phone's calendar??? She's 15 years old, ffs. Stop babying her. You're not doing her any favors.
    via u/Infinite_Step3417
  • 17
    How is she supposed to learn and eventually move out on her own if you're always enabling her?
    via u/Infinite_Step3417
  • 18
    Solicited_Advisor NTA, but if she has issues with organization and has not been able to figure it out herself, it is your place as her parents to help her navigate this. For example, you can set up a weekly family check in where she actively checks on all the things she needs to do, compiles a list, and shares it with you along with the
    via u/Solicited_Advisor
  • 19
    respective deadlines. Joint activities like that would teach her the skills to be more organized. Expecting her to figure it out on her own without guiding her (and then getting annoyed with her when she fails to be organized) seems unfair, or at least not helpful to her situation.
    via u/Solicited_Advisor
  • 20
    Technical_Lawb... I believe something is amiss. Alright, she's 15, old enough to put phone alarms to important things. But you don't seem to have taught her how to organize. Have you given her a planner? Or help her set her schedule for study and play? Some kids need more supervision than others.
    via u/Technical_Lawbster
  • 21
    About the trip and deposit, I think a good compromise is: • she pays the deposit with her savings and puts in place any strategy for reminding deadlines, and they show improvement (not saying she will fix everything, but needs to have some improvement)
    via u/Technical_Lawbster
  • 22
    . the parents pat back the deposit and the rest of the trip. In general, ESH.
    via u/Technical_Lawbster
  • 23
    motjh YTA "Dyslexia can affect memory, concentration, multi-tasking and communication. All impact. on everyday life. If you're in a relationship with someone whose brain works differently to yours it can be confusing and frustrating."
    via u/motjh
  • 24
    I have a daughter with dyslexia and we went through the exact same things with her. It was frustrating at times. But it was the way her brain worked. We had to work on ways to help her remember. Example, getting her into the habit of putting anything with a deadline as a reminder in her phone.
    via u/motjh
  • 25
    Writing notes and leaving them in prominent places around the house. Lots of visual reminders. Over time my daughter did get better, but it wasn't because she remembered better or was more organized. She just had learned ways to help that worked for her. Her brain still works the same as it did before. She had to work hard in learning a different way of doing things
    via u/motjh
  • 26
    then the average student and she has now begun her adult life and is managing well. Dyslexia is much more then just trouble with reading and writing.
    via u/motjh

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